Say the Truth
⊆ December 14th, 2008 by admin | ˜ No Comments »|
it going forward - everything, everything ? 18 years ago i went to Paris - it was because the life in Haifa was too good but the people were suffering - and i suffered too - now i am in California and N is making potatoes pancake we eat that, i make it usually, and this is my main course for months (?) and then we found corn flower is so cheap and easy to make pancake with it too - just add an egg or something - and i have started the restaurant i always dreamed of having - tomorrow we have everybody coming over to our motel for N’s birthday - we have shortage of money today but tomorrow is another day and after tomorrow Paris is back - you remember i was dirtying that art dealer Benny but one thing i owe him - its the sale of two works in the Hotel Druout - which why - i got an invite from Artprice and that happened yesterday Remember i was heavily deliberating if i should take the offer of NY art magazine and my decision was a clear NO ! i just figures the natural law overturn the hierarchy of this planet to true mode or other wise this whole existing creation is falling to dust and dying yesterday i saw in the south of California - along the beaches millions of sea animals dead - miles and miles of coast - low coast covered with millions of dead fish and other animals - the Mexican who did the movie which is recent cos the corpses are not old but Americans are dealing with the mortgages and they don’t like Michael Jackson and Martha steward is hero and so on and on - result is the natural spirits are rising and the inner source of this creation revolts against man so i understood the natural heirarchy and said - No! what happens next is i am geting 5 free ads posting on Artprice why i get it ? ! Paris
very good this thing with Paris,, it is the same i feel with the exhibition i made in Israel and there was something in the paper -through connections- so i can show the newspaper and people are thinking that i am kind of recognized artist that don’t want to show anymore in galleries,, anyhow i let everyone understand what he wants,, this or that way i will fuck everything……. and a another thing,,,it is the first time in my life now that i am totally free of any trace or shadow of a girlfriend or bitterness towards any girl or so,,,,, i find it hard now to start new connection i am so much enjoying this clean shit. i have to finish,, but before i do,,, about smoke,,,, i think that smoking cancel the criticism and the criticism in one is very important for creation,,,, like all those ex hipis here that look for Hare Krishna or Brahma or whatever,,, what if he come,,, they are stoned,, how can they know,, anyhow on that later,,,,, but on the same hand
just one remark is that its not the smoke that make people behave or think or give up or whatever - smoking for me only enhance the sensation of being - and that is in my opinion because we were educated both mentally and bodily to very low nutritions - and that happened cos everything turned industrial - so the vegetables are grown over millions of square miles which kills the insects and with the help of gene biology produces stuff that not only tasteless but is very weak and the same happens in the over all spectrum of human intellect it all looks like chewed up for ever and no wonder with that type of nutrition humans don’t experience the actual energy that there is on this planet - so with smoking Maria which is not a massively product - and Maria is only one of many vegis or other elements which if used will transmit the human metabolism and brain if you like to getting together with the life of the earth - instead of degenerating further which will now is at the point where humans with the common mind set are destroying the planet and its happening a lot faster than anybody want to see - and so with all the inherited resistance to any non massive products and all human traditions are massively produced - any step to the side is considered bad - or fault or sin and in many places if you go beyond the given mass habits and products frightens us too -
did not read the mail before the last,,it is all activity for me now here,,i will try maybe in the evening hope what you are waiting for will work for good
it seems like life is more meaning each time some major issue is resolved and it would be premature if i used the yesterday eyes for the future
am coming down from the smoke it is the 2nd day,, you know me- or not- but i can smoke like mad man and be completely in it but i like to come down,, i have a curve for tobacco and i don’t want to come back smoking again,, it is the shit that not go well if not the nicotine.
here we are making some progress - because the pressure of payments - and the reality that can provide a solution is unfolding - and it is unfolding in an unprecedented manner about Spanish girls i want to tell you that not all can sing so nicely but most do - their better sides is their freedom of feeling and so they are normally very passionate and express openly and the dance of Flamenco is only one side of this freedom - in essence they call it ‘Mi Voluntad’ - but the best thing about Spanish girls they are so many of them - and i don’t necessarily mean any Spanish speaking female but those from Spain - they carry that deep tradition in their lives and when they talk; they use high langauge and spirited metaphors in any circumstance - romantic or political here continues with first - about Sacha - i was wondering if it is possible for me to help with his paintings that now are left with Silvie i suppose- and my assumption is that the local autorities in Plelan de Grand are going to turn her house or help her to turn it into a local museum and so that there will be a gallery there which his family will earn of sometime sooner i hope - and this is what he wanted i remember him considering they would help him to do that i could possibly help with posting his art on Opensala but i am not sure if this is appropriate - mainly i think they would take me as greedy and one who wants to pull them from a plan which Silvie had planned - - today i stretched another canvas - just did that now = A, our friend, is into body painting - nude painting if you like so - waiting to start sell on line will be fun - now we started with Potluck they call them - and there is some native American ritual entered into the American whites - but not in the real sense i hope you can follow me with my story - i just wanted top confess that this society here is very much about freedom - not only same sex marriage but in many ways - sometimes you go to a party here and most people are naked - in this ambiance no wonder we N and me we had another woman as lover - i mean making love together and we r just fine with being so free - N even suggested that young woman and i we should have babies N says - she says that our love is mutual and we shine when we are together Crazy California - i just wanted to point out that having babies with A is not on my agenda - and its sounds rather like a nice little joke on N’s behalf -still having said that and mocked at does not remove that glow
if you will not fuck her maybe i will ,,,, this A,,,, anyhow,, the anger is coming back,,, getting crazy again,, it is the 3 day without smoke and i find i have nothing to do here,, found my self resting today on a beach with all those travelers around ,,, the asses of the girls dancing to drums of stoned Indians and rhythm less europiums,,, the girls are dancing there tasteless dances,,, most of them are not even good looking,, in Goa at least they are,,,, no no it is ok,,,, there is not so many boring social cuts as travelers,,, maybe students,,, anyhow,, the anger started in me,,,it is comfortable for me,, good room good view but what m i doing here at all,,, reading religious texts of Indians of Jews and of Christians,,, they all say the same it is unbelievable,,, no originality,, not even in there claims to “being the right religion” but fuck knows… fuck knows… maybe being one of rituals makes life more proactive and all,,,, still not after walking a while,,i don’t want to come down
it feels like some kind of mixed up - i have worked my self to tiredness with the web and out of it - i dont find myself either - i also talk too much - those revolutionary ideas im fed up with hearing myself promoting them - i have lost the reason technically i will keep posting our corresponding on Opensala - its taking some hours to do it right - i can leave you writing with the mistakes if you think the mistakes are part of the rhythm that is OK i am in love with A, i don’t now if i will fuck with her - i am not sure if i am attracted to her physically at all - she is very plain vast generous but seemingly hard body very beautiful blond huge girl we started very hot and then N had her say - she suddenly jumped and she was for it - she thinks i should have more children and says i am a good father - which is true, but its all new to me - oh i am so slooow its all i can say about it now, that i was in love with her - and then she disappeared for a couple of months and now she comes to stay and i am not sure how i feel about her now i am not sure maybe N is right maybe maybe it faded away ok i will fix the mistakes i was falling big time when my money was finished - the main reason why it affected me so much is because after that huge investment with money and learning and work and talk a lot of big talk and new theories and strategies and investing courage and daring to go through the wall - i am feeling inside the wall - i have invested so much that now i can only wait and thats the only thing i can do - you see when / if i had activity about the painting and not just smart PR companies trying to squeeze more of me - the more i don’t possess any more - instead i am an intelligent slim worrier and i will need more love whether A will fall on me or not - i will need more women more physicality - i have dried up with this work and lack of earning - and the only thing for me can be sex and a lot and free its not necessarily lost if i want to keeeeep her, yes you r right im going to Henna Dye my hair :) red ! |





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